Thursday 26 April 2007

PRINCE HARRY - STOCKWELL DECISION


Because of the dangers posed by abandoned holes in the road at the Binfield Road Stockwell Tube Station intersection the MINISTRY OF DEFENCE is urgently reconsidering its decision to deploy Prince Harry to serve with STOCKWELL TOILET WATCH "bog roll blues and royals" alongside KILROY and several hundred elite SAS officers. It really was hoped that Harry’s Sandhurst Training would have stood him in very good stead to deal with anti infidel elements still believed to be bent on establishing fly by night PUBLIC TOILET facilities across south London, including STOCKWELL ( see earlier post “BOILED IN OIL WITH SCABS ALERT” – 26 Feb.). .

Wednesday 25 April 2007

"SHOOT YOUR MOUTH OFF" APPEAL


BINFIELD ROAD BOLLARDED AND BAGGED




Binfield Road has been bagged. Not as a Sainsbury’s plastic bag, or even as some snazzy trendy GREENER effort – quite the opposite. No it’s pitted, dug-out and been left with deep set concrete bags which are now almost full of toppled over reddish traffic bollards strewn with litter. There they sit holed up smack bang in the hyper busy main Stockwell intersection roadway. No work at all done today Hose.

In other words BINFIELD ROAD has been BOLLARDED and BAGGED. And not a single Stockwell Ward local Lambeth LLOGOSSBO councillor Is in sight (see earlier posts) to pay his or her respects - not even far out Cabinet Cllr LIB PECK who's lost way beyond our local Stockwell horizons.

Oh well give it a day or two more of the very same astonishing traffic deadlock and other workshy neglect that it is already suffering, and the mountains of bollards may by then provide an adventure playscape for wayward dangerous living youths and kids.

Binfield Road used to have even bigger holes in the road at this intersection junction – only they weren’t called "holes" or "bags" of course. Quite trouble free, they were there below the road level for very many decades until anti social ASBO Lambeth Councillors in Sept. 1988 wanted to quietly cut budgets and sod the rest of us. In those days Binfield's bagged holes were called PUBLIC TOILETS.

Monday 9 April 2007

STOCKWELL EASTER OLYMPICS - continued

"MID-NIGHT RUN-OFF" event Easter Monday. Runner number one - youngish adult black male runs like crazy from Clapham Road Surridge Court to Stockwell Underground Station really screaming “help me … help me … please help me” and throws himself on the ground near the Station outside COSTCUTTERS wall still screaming and begging for help.

Kilroy has emerged from the shop with his milk for the morning where there are also stood about a dozen orange-coloured overall clad London Underground night time maintainance workers waiting to go on duty. Man One has been pursued by Man Two also a youngish adult black man, and he is the man whom Man One is obviously terrified of very badly losing out to. Man One has thrown himself in the middle of the maintainance workers and with his gesturing arms and voice is begging and imploring them “help me … please...please help me”. This has been a very fast moving event.

They don’t help, they are gob-smacked and cautiously move away wondering what’s afoot because Man Two has arrived and up close he remonstrates in a puzzled way with Man One saying “what’s up? what’s up with you? Unimpressed Man One begs that he is “sorry… sorry .. don’t hurt me" for something or other as yet unexplained. There are incoherate references by Man One to events that have to do with his own brother.

Within a minute cops are there and they move in – they protect Man One slowly ushering him back towards Surridge Court to get his explanation. Man Two has been joined by youngish adult black male Man Three and separately they too move together slowly back to the Surridge Court vicinity and en route are joined by adult youngish black male Man Four.

No guns or knives on show. Black on Black. Again no clear event winner. Quite a few losers. And no public toilets either. Thus another STOCKWELL EASTER OLYMPICS event runs its course. To be continued???

STOCKWELL KNIVES OLYMPICS - ongoing

On Easter Sunday afternoon Kilroy and a pal were sat 100 yards or so from Clapham Road "Dunkers Alley" (see previous posts) at the Black Rose Cafe supping tea and coffee. "Er no thanks" said we to the young hood (meaning shadey not sartorial) who suddenly siddled alongside to sneakily put on offer a stolen mobile phone. We supped on. The surprise surprise Eastertime "KNIVES OLYMPICS" were yet to come and "hood" would show again.

On 5 April (Easter Good-Friday-night-eve) police officers from "black-on-black" gun crime "OPERATION TRIDENT" leafletted homes on the Studley Estate - in connection with an 11pm shooting incident the night before hard by Stockwell Station. (Where the old public toilets had existed for very many decades - until shut in 1988 by LAMBETH COUNCIL and finally demolished with the help of STOCKWELL PARTNERSHIP (see recent and earlier posts). Over the same St Valentines Day weekend when 15 year old BILLY COX was shot dead at nearby CLAPHAM NORTH there was a 2nd local shooting incident. It happned at Stockwell by the Clapham Road bus stop, children's amusement playground and Stockwell Post Office. The police "witness notice board" for this latter incident had been removed by this Easter weekend "STOCKWELL KNIVES OLYMPICS".

Fast forward to Easter Sunday night. At 10pm Kilroy exits Stockwell Studley Estate passing the Nile Cafe and launderette. Some 50 yards from where the St Valentines Day weekend shooting incident had occured the EASTER "STOCKWELL KNIVES OLYMPICS" are in full flood - immediately across the Clapham Road. Initially the main event is taking place in a north > south direction (between the news agents shop and the corner of Lingham Street taking in the frontage of what used to be THE OAK pub now re-named after having undergone a make-over).

There were 2 main contenders - one, not suprisingly was well out in front because he was being hotly pursued by a screaming threatening contestant armed with two very long flashing blades - one in each hand. Other contestants were moving in quick and altering the course of events. Contestant "2 blades" retraced to the newsagents doorway and stood for a shortish period bawling and threatening whoever was inside, with both air jabbing blades held aloft, before decamping past William Hills Bookmakers and disappearing, being pursued by several other re-grouped contestants, into the housing estate precincts. This was not an exclusively black on black "event". It now included the (shadey not sartorial) hoodie stolen mobile phone seller who had appeared on the scene and had unhesitatingly joined in. Police had somehow been summoned. It is not known who if anybody won the event.

There is a dire shortage of public toilets in STOCKWELL but as yet no shortage of unsporting blades. In relation to both you have now been warned.